I have discovered the secret to motherhood.
This teal leotard, which once belonged to my sweet sister in law who donated to the Rudd family dress-up trunk, has become my new best friend.
Reasons why it makes me a better mom:
1. No matter what you are doing your kids think you are playing with them...any housework- you become the servant to the wicked queen, sitting at the computer-you are now a spaceship captain manning the control panel, fighting with them to clean up-the evil queen that puts you in the dungeon if you don't clean...see what I mean? It is all good cause you are always dressed up. (except your seven year old will probably tell you you look freaky-she really shouldn't tell me things like this because I will now make a mental note on my list of "things that will embarrass Uno when she gets in high school")
2. It is really hard to take yourself seriously when you are wearing a teal leo over your clothes so you have a tendency to yell less because really, you start and then you catch a glimpse of your lumpy bumpy shape in the sliding glass door and then you remember how this moment is going to look SO much worse when it all plays back in your movie at judgment day simply because not only do you sound crazy but you LOOK crazy too. I speak from experience on this one. It works.
3. It makes you very conscious of the tummy your children created for you and it motivates you to stand a little taller and suck it in. Plus, if you look bad you have a good excuse. Those lumps and bumps are just your clothes underneath, right? That doesn't really make me a better mom but you get the point.
Warning: After wearing it for more than an hour you may forget about it and walk your teal little lump bumpy self down the street to get the mail and then not realize it until it is to late, you have been spotted by the homey's as they saunter off of the school bus.
They don't really get that I was actually a super hero on my way to retrieve the secret code that, if fallen into the wrong hands could destroy the world. yeah that's it.
9 comments:
oh my gosh, Bethany you are so funny! But I am starting to wonder...are you off your meds again? just kidding. I love that you went outside like that!
You are a nice mom. I was never allowed to wear a leotard all day because my mom promised I'd "get a rash."
I want to be in your family.
trin's new favorite game it to play beach party. she always wants me to put my bathing suit on, and i refuse because, well, i have LOTS of reflective surfaces in my house. over the clothes might work, though! thanks for the tip on the music lessons. i'm really considering it!
I am going to print these pictures and put them on the wall next to the white elephant gift I got a few years back. Ok, what I really meant was in the box with the photo, but I will definitely hang it, now that I have others. Then people will come to my house and be like "who's that person you have all those pictures of?" and I can say "Oh it's just Bethany duh. She's kind of a big deal."
Oh my gosh Bethany, is that all I need to become a better mom? You've been holding out on me or I missed the memo. Maybe I'll get a bright orange one and join your exclusive club. You are awesome! I Love reading your creative posts cuz I'm sure to laugh. I like that you tell life how it really is.
I'm gonna have to get me one of those!! You are the greatest mom. Your kids are so lucky to have you! Tay wears leotards and swimming suits all day long. Maybe I should try it, and join her. As long as it's over my clothes, my chubby self won't feel too bad. . .
I'm sorry, I don't see any lumps or bumps. You look great! I still think you need to write a book.
I am working on it...it may take some time afterall, I wouldn't want to neglect my blogging. :)
Considering how well your kids responded to the leotard, just think of the possibilities of wearing it to church! That would be the best Sunday ever! I'll be looking for bright blue....
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