Revenge of the Gunny Man

In our home we have a tradition that the "Gunny Man" comes and visits after the alotted cleaning up time. I bring in a sack and sing:

Here comes the Gunny Man
Yum, Yummy, Yummy!
He eats up all the toys

And puts them in his tummy!

Usually this is a fun and funny thing to do as the kids run around cleaning up all the last few things and I come in singing and stomping my feet acting like I am eating up stuff and then being disappointed when there is nothing to eat...However,

This morning it all went haywire...

Dos decided that he WAS NOT going to clean up his room. So I told him that he needed to stay in his room until it was clean (I actually did do this calmly and matter of factly) and then I moved on to the Cleaning of the Playroom (I capitalize it because it is an event-a 45 minute event in our house)with the kiddos that had finished their rooms (don't worry I left plenty of mess for him to clean up too-there is always plenty to go around). A while later I walked down the hallway to give him a gentle reminder that we were going to have popsicles and when his jobs were done he could join us....but he was nowhere to be seen---I was shocked (not really).

(this is on a somewhat tame day)

So I declared-"Time for the Gunny Man!" Panic stricken he ran to his room but there was not enough time ...

Here comes the Gunny Man

"NO MOM NO!"

Yum, Yummy, Yummy!

I have never seen his hands move so quickly

He eats up all the toys

(and clothes and books and shoes)

And puts them in his tummy.

It was finished. Boy sobbing, tummy full, I walked outside to deposit my booty in the trash can.

I know, I know I am a mean mother...but not mean enough because as I looked in the bag I saw "Raja" the stuffed lion he has had since he was a baby, two pairs of shoes (and you know how expensive shoes are), and his spiderman-which he LOVES I couldn't do it so I set it in the front yard and came up with a plan...

I went back inside to finish up the Cleaning of the Playroom and found them all crying and cleaning up their assigned category of toy.

The joys of motherhood.

Seriously, how am I supposed to deal with this?

They finished and I sent them upstairs to eat popsicles. Dos was sniffling and I said I was sorry that we had to throw his toys away and then I reminded him that I had given him chances to clean up and he knows what happens to toys that don't get taken care of-they get eaten...try saying that with a straight face.

The joys of motherhood.

So then, once they were are all settled in front of the "boob tube, brain sucker" (whatever you want to call it) eating high fructose corn syrup on a stick, I snuck outside to retrieve the sack and retreive the Raja from the bowels of the Gunny Man.

IT. WAS. GONE. seriously, who would take a white trash bag with sharpie eyes on it?

My first thought, UNO.

Nice mother huh, something goes missing and I immediately blame my children...I guess not mean as much as just--trained.

Uno denies it with absoluteness and I see no trace of deceit. I am satistfied.

The next solution...someone seriously stole my Gunny Man. Nobody steals my man and gets away with it!!!

I went to the neighbors.

No sign of a masked man or mob stealing away a bag of toys.

Seriously.

Sheesh.

My heart is hurting thinking of all the junk that I usually curse at as I kick it aside when tucking Dos in at night.

I will miss that little tiger.

Those were his FAVORITE flipflops.

Spiderman (screamed to the heavens with upturned fist)!

I walk inside and I hear whispering...mothers intuition tells me something is off...

Aha! The culprits...Uno and Dos in his room huddled around the closet and, and, what could it be but the Gunny Man! I have never been so excited to see a white trash bag with sharpie eyes before this moment! Raja, flipflops and spiderman toys all leapt into view.

Then the realization. A someone had lied...

Dilema: Uno had lied to. my. face. If there is one thing that I cannot and will not tolerate in my house it is being. lied. to. Just ask Hubby he will tell you-ask anyone for that matter. But she had also stole the bag to protect and stand up for her little brother.

Act of heroism or act of deceit?

Yup.

I sent her to her room until I could sort it out.

What to do what to do?

Oh, the joys of motherhood!

I can't let her get away with lying but I am a little proud of her that she cares about her brother.

Crap.

"Uno, you are going to be grounded."

Hysterics.

"Uno, I am not grounding you because you took the bag. I know that you did that to try and protect Dos."

Whimpering.

"Uno, look at me. I am grounding you because you lied to me, a lot. If you would have told me the truth I would have been upset and talked to you but that would have been the end of it. You may not watch any TV or movies today and you will not be playing with friends or anything else that we do today."

Hysterics.

She then tried to slam the door but a toy got in the way (I know, yes we HAD just completed the Cleaning of the Playroom but it WAS 10 minutes later) so she pushed my punching bag over (I know it shouldn't be able to be pushed over but it isn't full of water right now so it is easy)then I told her to pick it up and that "it was okay to be mad but not okay to destroy things" so she picked it up then she moved back to slamming the door and this time she first moved the toys with her kick and then slammed the office door and then slammed the playroom door and then slammed her door.Proof, can't you just see the deceitfull nature in her eyes!

All in all I think that she handled her first grounding well, and so did I and Dos, having nothing to do with the incident) got another chance to clean his room.

I would like to thank the Gunny Man for his help today and now I will go get the Goldfish down for my children to eat. Oh and this all happened before 8 a.m.

The joys of motherhood.